Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
