...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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