i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
