WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
