She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
