Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
