i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
