just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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