dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
