batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
