What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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