No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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