My brain says no but my pants say off.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
