cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
