I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
