I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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