Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
