hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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