i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
