sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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