Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
