Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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