Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
