On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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