oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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