She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i think im in europe. pls send help
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
