Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My life is pants optional.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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