when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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