remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
