GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
