I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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