so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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