this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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