is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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