their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
