wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish you could order shots online.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The air was thick with penises
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
