So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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