Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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