id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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