I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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