i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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