I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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