just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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