Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
