Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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