Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
