Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
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I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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