she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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