I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
