everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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