dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
