Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
