Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize