she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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