): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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