so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
