White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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